Sunday, April 5, 2009

Joy and Fear

Friday night, I noticed for the first time with what joy the people were singing to the Theotokos. It was just pure, unfettered gladness. It occurred to me to wish our hymns to Christ were always so joyful. And then came the thought, all unbidden: "It's because nobody is afraid of her."

Well, it's true, isn't it? Who fears the Theotokos? Nobody. She's just undiluted, maternal love. So is Christ(!) so why is there still some corner in our hearts that fears Him? It's because we know there is still some corner of our heart (at least a corner) that does not love, that is not like Him, to whom we shall have to give account one day.

It shows how far we still have to go, how far we are missing the mark, because if we did love as He loves, then we could face Him unashamed. We would sing to Him with far greater joy, even, that we have in singing to His mother. As St. John says, "Perfect love casts out fear."


orrologion said...

On Pascha we love Him as we should, perhaps at Agape Vespers, too, and maybe Bright Monday Liturgy.

And then it's down hill. My spiritual father once told me that we fall apart after Pascha because it's almost too much for us, we don't know what to do with it, we don't know how to live with all that Pascha is, means, has done and does. It's B I G - and we are small, but the Mother of God is more spacious than the heavens and is therefore 'different' than me, different than the other saints, even.

I'm only afraid of Christ insofar as I am afraid I will be found out.