More Favorite, Fun Songs (With Plenty of Nostalgia Thrown In)

The Hippopotamus Song



A bold hippopotamus was standing one day
On the banks of the cool Shalimar.
He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay
By the light of the evening star.
Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair
His fair hippopotami maid.
The hippopotamus was no ignoramus
And sang her this sweet serenade:

Mud, mud, glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud!

The fair hippopotama he aimed to entice
From her seat on that hilltop above,
As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice,
Came tiptoeing down to her love.
Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound
Of the song that they sang as they met.
His inamorata adjusted her garter
And lifted her voice in duet:

Mud, mud, glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud!

Now more hippopotami began to convene
On the banks of that river so wide.
I wonder now what am I to say of the scene
That ensued by the Shalimar side?
They dived all at once with an ear-splitting splash
Then rose to the surface again,
A regular army of hippopotami
All singing this haunting refrain:

Mud, mud, glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud!


The Gnu Song



A year ago last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons
And the number of quills a porcupine has got.
So I asked him 'What's that creature there?' and he answered 'It's a helk!'
And I'd have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked, 'I hain't a helk; I'm a g-nu!
I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu,
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a gnu. How do you do?
You really oughta k-know w-who's w-who.
I'm a gnu, spelt G - N – U.
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo.
So let me introduce, I'm g-neither man nor moose
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!'

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-lyne, it was, actually,
On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream
Which I'll tell you all about some other time.
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed,
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew.
A bison? An okapi? Could it be a hartebeest?
Then I seemed to hear a voice: 'I'm a gnu!
I'm a gnu, a-g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you
I'm a gnu. How do you do?
You really oughta k-know w-who's w-who
I'm a gnu, spelt G - N – U.
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue!
G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest.
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a gnu!'


The Reluctant Cannibal

(Sorry, no lyrics for this...)

The Reluctant Cannibal - Flanders And Swann