The Gloria Stories, Part 4
Whether it was Gloria or I who came up with the Elevator Game I can’t remember; I think I came across it in a book somewhere. It’s simple. You just tell your friend a story on the elevator. The catch is, you only tell the middle of it, only as much as fits into your ride. Timing is crucial; you have to pad it or condense it as time requires. You also have to speak so everyone in the elevator can’t help hearing you.
Our favorite one went like this:
[Getting on elevator]. “Of course, I knew I shouldn’t open the front door at four o’clock in the morning; I know it was stupid…”
“Very stupid.”
“I know.”
“And dangerous, too.”
“Yup, but I did it. I threw on my bathrobe and ran down the stairs, and sure enough, there he was, with his friend, and with his gun pointed right at me.”
[Ding! The elevator bell rings to announce your floor. Doors open]
“OH, no! What did you do?”
[Walking out the door]
“I didn’t even have time to do anything, when all of a sudden…”
[Thunk! Elevator doors close and your audience disappears.]
We had several such stories, for variety. One I remember was this:
[Getting on elevator]
“Well, the whole room fell silent and everybody was staring at me. That’s when I looked up and realized it was the Prince.”
“You mean—?”
“Yes, the Prince. Of Wales! I could have died!”
[Ding!]
“No offense, but I would have, if I had just done something that stupid! What did you say?”
“What could I say, after that? In the end, he was the one who spoke first. ”
[Exiting elevator] “Trying to make a joke of it, you know, but to me that just made it worse. I was so mortified! He said…”
[Thunk!]
Don’t ask me how the stories ended. Or began. We only made up the middles.
.
4 comments:
But... Is it lying?
It's not lying -- just think of it as ... um ... performance art. Yeah, that's it.
Too funny!
Right, performance art!
Howie Mandel (host of "Deal or No Deal) told an even funnier one. He's a germophobe, and can't stand it when people stand too near him, as on an elevator. He told Jay Leno he had figured out a way to get people to back off. He just starts sniffing his fingers and putting on disgusted facial expressions, as if his fingers stank terribly and he couldn't quite figure out why. He'd keep doing it and people would step away from him.
I laughed so hard when my daughter told me this tonight that I was afraid I'd die from not being able to catch my breath. I might just have to do that some day!
I'm visiting my daughter and she and her husband told me how she saved the day recently when they and two other couples were stuck on an elevator.
The elevator doors closed; someone pressed the button. Nothing happened. The elevator wouldn't move. Jeff (dear s-i-l) tried the emergency phone, but it wasn't being monitored, so nobody answered it. Everybody was wondering what to do.
Finally, Erin got mad enough to rip the doors open. Literally. She put one hand on each door and just by brute strengh, pushed the doors apart. They stayed open, and everybody walked safely out of the elevator.
A good thing to remember if it ever happens to us!
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