Anniversary

Today is the first anniversary of my father's death.  It's what the Jews call "Jahrzeit," the end of the formal period of mourning.  After Jahrzeit, you can go to parties again, dance again, and you are bidden to cease and desist with the mourning.

Don't know about that.  But when I get around to buying myself some autumn clothes, as I will any day now, I'm not going to get any more that are mostly black.   I've worn black for a year and a half, and I wanted to; that's what felt comfortable to me.  It still is, but now I'm tired of it.  

Meanwhile, the day went alright.  I did various light chores (sorting through kitchen drawers and re-organizing them) and found myself humming as I did.  

The thoughts that once in a while come crowding in and you have to fight not to let them embitter you, those came several days ago and I dealt with them then.  I'm not going to entertain them today.