Saturday, March 6, 2010


Yesterday was the second anniversary of the death of Barbara, my youngest sister.

Mom called, a bit teary, saying she just wanted to talk "with my remaining children."

I did alright during the day, but fared less well in my dreams last night. I was at some large family gathering and there, in the middle of everybody, towering over them, was my sister. (In real life, there are several members of our family she wouldn't "tower over"; she'd just be a couple of inches taller than they.) I exclaimed out loud, joyously, "There's Barbara!"

But I knew, before the words were out of my mouth, that she wasn't real, that it had to be some sort of illusion or delusion. I wasn't interested in investigating further; I didn't even go up to talk with "her".

May God keep you in His eternal memory, Barbara, and all of us with you, because that's the living Mind keeping us alive within Himself.


margaret said...

My mother died when I was 16 and over the years I had some vivid if weird dreams about being with her - having the grownup conversations we never had yet the first time I questioned the realness of her was the last time I ever dreamed about her.

Memory eternal, Barbara.

elizabeth said...

Lord have mercy. Memory Eternal. May God comfort you and your family.

DebD said...

I've been thinking about her all week, Anastasia. I wasn't able to go to this morning's memorial service, but she was remembered with all the other people from St. Mark.

I still have vivid dreams about my grandparents that passed away 20 yrs ago. I find them very comforting.

"With the saints give rest to the soul of Thy servant who has fallen asleep" May her memory be eternal.

Anam Cara said...

My brother, 10 years younger than I, died suddenly in 2005 at age 45. In 1993, I had a really strange dream about him that seemed very real. I did not understand it, although I puzzled with him over it over the years, until the 40th day after his death. And then I realized God had prepared me for what was to come, I just hadn't understood. What a comfort to see it all in retrospect! And now I love it when he sees fit to invade my dreams.

May Barbara's memory be eternal.

GretchenJoanna said...

May her memory be eternal.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

Memory Eternal to Barbara, and my prayers for you and your family.

Steve Robinson said...

Death and remembrance are indeed a mystery. Memory eternal and peace to you.

Mimi said...

May her Memory be Eternal, and hugs during the difficult anniversary time.

amy said...

Bless your heart, God's blessings to your family. Most often, I find great comfort in dreams like the one you described. Perhaps it is a gift to tell you Barbara is watching over you all. May her memory be eternal.