The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted. "My Mommy looked back while she was driving," he announced, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A little girl broke the silence. "Throw up."
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning about kings and queens in Bible times. But there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, " Gary, whatever made you do such a thing ?"
Gary answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He just then did!"
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
"Yes, sir," the boy replied.
“And do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No, sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."
AND ALL GIRLS
Kelli, 3, and her brother, Cody, would say their nightly prayers together. As most children do, they had to bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after they had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the end, her mother's curiosity got the best of her and she asked, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"
"Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men!'”
THEY NEED OUR HELP
Teaching the kindergarten class at our Sunday School, I told the children God had created the whole world, the sky, the Sun, the Moon, the birds, the flowers...
A little girl on the front row took her thumb out of her mouth at said, "At our house, we have to plant seeds and water 'em!"
When my niece, Madison, was four years old, she and I went for a late-morning walk in the woods.
"I hear you can tell the difference between conifers and deciduous trees," I said.
"Yes. Conifers bear pinecones. That tree right over there is a conifer."
"How about this one?"
"It's a conifer, too."
"Deciduous. It loses its leaves in the winter. And did you know God made it?"
"Yes, I know. He made conifers, too."
"He made everything!" she informed me. Than, after a moment's thought, she added, "Except peanut butter jelly sandwiches. Those, we have to make ourselves!"
Saturday, April 19, 2008