Thursday, November 6, 2008

Gentleness (With a Sigh...)

Some of the Christian womens' blogs I've been coming across lately remind me of walking into a scented candle-and-soaps shop. They're very sweet, very domestic, written by very feminine, gentle women.

And I rather wish I were like them. But I just don't think I ever will be. Everyone in my family knows I've never been dedicated to homemaking. It's definitely a chore and the love of my husband is all that makes it joyous for me, nothing else, unless it be vanity.

And any regular reader here knows I have this hard-nosed streak and do not resemble a Hallmark store or a confectioner's.

How do these people acquire such gentleness? By cultivating constant awareness of their sins, perhaps?


Michelle M said...

I have to admit that I am the same way that you are. I love being a stay at home mom, but not a stay at home housekeeper. I don't like cleaning and my decorating style is very modern and, perhaps, more "manly".

I also have a hard-nose streak and say things how they are. With my close friends, I am not known for my gentleness- I am more known for telling them the truth (although kindly when needed), but the truth just the same.

I also wish, at times, that I could some how be more gentle and more dedicated to homemaking, but for now, I am dedicated to child-making. I spend my time with my children and let the housework slide. I am ok with that for now.

DebD said...

I often tell people that I didn't stay home so I could clean house. Domesticity is only part of me because I love my family. However, I am a homebody and as I've (ahem) gotten older I've noticed that a level of tidiness is more relaxing.

We like you just the way your are Anastasia. I wish I was better at having a ready answer about Orthodoxy. I often find myself completely tongue-tied.

BellaMama said...

Not all that is portrayed is a flowered tea party. Some (including myself) won't write about their struggles and daily griefs. I think that speaking of all the good days not only encourages myself, but others too!
(Phillipians 4:6-8)

When you finally see that this is the "job" God wants you to do, then you begin to live:

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
"Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ."
Colossians 3:23-24

"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Hebrews 11:6

What beautiful promises we have in Christ!!

"For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us."
2 Corinthians 1:20

"Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:
"But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him."
Acts 10:34-35

I hold fast to these verses, they are real!! Gentleness comes as we obey God!! (it doesn't necessarily mean roses and fine linens!)

Hope you find strength and peace in God!!

Serendipity said...

I'm not really a good in the area of housekeeping myself. Agree with you there, wish that I am but...guess to each his/her own. Thankful for that.

Elizabeth said...

I'm looking at the chaos in my home at present, and must own that I am not a natural housekeeper either.....

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Thanks to all of you who try to be so consoling.

It's good to neglect housework if it's for some nobler cause, such as rearing children or taking care of an aging parent. I don't have any such excuse.

And as for gentleness, well...

Monica said...

A while back, Emma - who I like to read because she is often what I am not in the "femininity" department - posted a link to lengthy articles on how to be a good woman.

I was a little frustrated that I didn't fit so many things in the list, so I asked my husband to read it and tell me if he thought those were qualities he wished I had.

After reading it, he said he was glad I wasn't too much like that. He felt like much of it was vanity and that really the most important thing was to try to be like the saints, not like someone's ideas of "femininity."

He was so compeled to make sure I understood him, that for several days after, he sent me stories of female saints who did manual labor and such.

I do like to cook, but NOT clean (smile). And I have much to learn, of course about how to live. And anyway - what is a "gentle and quiet SPIRIT?" Not merely gentle actions, but a gentle spirit?

Meadowlark Days said...

I had to smile at your opening line! Good analogy. I enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts about it.

anonymous god-blogger said...

Yikes, Anastasia, if you were as domestic as you sometimes worry that you ought to be, who would write your wonderful blog and do all the theological research--and living--that you do?

And much more importantly than anything you *do*, who would be YOU?

I think that some people manifest their relational nature through domestic stuff, and some through other ways. It's all about relationship and incarnation, anyway, not about instrumental modalities. (By "instrumental modalities," I mean seeing people--even oneself--as means-to-various-ends, whether a clean house or a smooth/genteel social surface--perhaps more valued here in the South than elsewhere--which is why I don't really fit here, either, in many ways!)

I know that it's kind of a Martha world for women, but God created Marys too! And also warrior women, which is what you are as well!