Friday, September 17, 2010

How Husbands and Wives Drive Each Other Crazy

“Honey, don’t forget to clean up the sink when you’ve finished brushing your teeth.” What she meant was, “Wipe up the sink” but she failed to say exactly what she meant.

“Clean up the sink?"

“Yes, clean up the sink." What’s with the incredulous tone, she wonders? Is it too much for me to ask him to leave the sink clean after brushing his teeth instead of leaving it for me to wipe away his hardened-on glob of toothpaste tomorrow?

“Why?” Didn't she just scrub and disinfect the sink this morning? So why does she want it done again, and just as they are about to go out for the evening?

“Because, well, your spitting technique has been lousy of late,” she says.

“Clean it with what?” He doesn’t even know where she keeps the Clorox or Windex or Lysol or whatever she uses to clean sinks.

“Well, you could use a baby wipe,” says she, wondering what’s wrong with him that he has to be told what to use to wipe away his spit.

“A baby wipe?”

She bites her tongue and doesn’t say, “You do know what a baby wipe is, don’t you?” Instead, she says, “Or a tissue if you prefer.”

“A tissue?” To scrub and disinfect a sink? Has she gone completely crazy?

Why, she wonders, is he repeating everything I say? As if he were totally incompetent! “Or use your finger,” she says, “I don’t care.”

He is left bewildered. All he can say is, “Well, I suppose I could…”

You jolly well can, she thinks. How hard can it be?

No way to understand a woman, he thinks. Just humor her. Use the tissue she herself suggested. If she wanted a better job, she could at least have brought him the scrub brush.

“Thank you!” she says, with exasperation, thinking it was like pulling hens’ teeth to get him to do such a simple little thing.

Hint from Helen:

When you have finished brushing your teeth, turn on the tap and spit directly into the running water as it swirls down the drain, washing everything nicely away. Although Correct Spitting Technique is something you should have learned from early childhood, it is not absolutely imperative. If you haven’t yet mastered it, a perfectly acceptable alternative is to wipe up the sink afterward. Either way, you avoid leaving your nasty glob of used toothpaste in the sink for someone else to remove (after it has hardened).


Genevieve said...

"correct spitting technique/?' I've never heard of this. I'm just thankful to have a toothbrush and toothpaste. And if the sink is dirty, that means that we are blessed enough to have them. I don't think I plan to get OCD on the sinks now. I'm fine with just getting in the there and cleaning up once a week, or twice when needed, since I have other problems in our family or issues, way more important than whether the sink gets alittle dirty. Just my opinion, that and a dime might get you a cup of coffee. But, I've noticed that my life is very hard with a son with disorders, and I wish I had a normal life. So, I'm working hard at prayers and learning to parent better.

GretchenJoanna said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha is all I can say without incriminating myself and/or tattling on my dear husband.

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Genevieve, of course 'correct spitting technique' is something I made up satirically. Not to be taken seriously.

And I agree wholeheartedly with your priorities!

You do the best you can as a parent, and whatever mistakes you may make will be done with love, which is what counts, and your son will know it. And will respond accordingly, as best he can.

Love and prayers!