Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Tearful, Liberating, Very Good Day

Today I have understood that I've been a Pollyanna all my life. It isn't just lately; it isn't with just one incident. Whenever I have suffered any hurt at the hands of another, I have released the resentment (eventually!), but then I have buried the hurt. Why? Why on earth have I done this, with so many things, for so many years? Because our culture tells us we are supposed to be stoic? Because we are "supposed" to do that as good Christians?

No, we're not, either! That's not bravery; that's just inhuman! Bravery means carrying on anyway. It doesn't mean hardening your heart against hurt. And anyway, I didn't do it because I was somehow supposed to; I did it just to avoid hurting. But the natural, normal, human thing to do is to let it hurt for as long as it hurts, to let come as many tears as wish to flow. Why not? We have Christ to cry to!

Besides which, I also have Demetrios to cry to.

And I have been doing both today. What started out as willingness finally to cry over one thing turned into a flood of other things that needed tears, and it's been wonderful. Wonderful, not horrible! There's the marvel. I think this has been very healing already and is likely to be more so until the day when the Lord shall wipe away every tear.

And as far as I can tell, I'm nowhere near through. I keep remembering that verse about "casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Cry, baby, cry! It's good for you.


Shamassy Monica said...

Amen, I say! Cry, cry, cry!

Chocolatesa said...

Yeah I remember a few weeks ago I started crying over one thing and it turned into 6 other things, the tears wouldn't stop, and I felt much better. And the (second, after God)best was that I had my mom's arms to cry in :)