Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Church Jokes

Sent to me by my Baptist Next-door Neighbor

The Truant

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, 'I'm not going.'

'Why not?' she asked.

'I'll give you two good reasons,' he said. '(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them.'

His mother replied, 'I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!'

The Picnic

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

'This baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?'

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, 'At your wedding.'


The Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps, 'Where would you like to sit?' he asked politely.

'The front row please,' she answered.

'You really don't want to do that,' the usher said. 'The pastor is really boring.'

‘Do you happen to know who I am?' the woman inquired.

'No.' he said.

'I'm the pastor's mother,' she replied indignantly.

'Do you know who I am?' he asked.

'No.' she said.

'Good,' he answered.

Show and Tell

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a 'show and tell' assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion.

The first student got up in front of the class and said, 'My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.'

The second student got up in front of the class and said, 'My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary.'

The third student got in up front of the class and said, 'My name is Tommy. I am a Baptist, and this is a casserole.'

15 comments:

Andrea said...

I loved these! Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

Mimi said...

Bwahahahahahahahha, thank you.

Chocolatesa said...

Lolll these are great :P

Anonymous said...

We provide all kinds of high prominence s that come in a variety of styles, colors and sizes at wholesale price.All [url=http://www.g-marrybridal.com/wedding-dresses/]wedding dress[/url]
[url=http://www.g-marrybridal.com/cheap-prom-dresses/]cheap prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.g-marrybridal.com/mother-of-the-bride-dresses/]Mother of the Bride Gown[/url]
are sale-priced with trendy styles allying apparels including originator combining tear someone off a strip, strand association dresses, marriage gowns, bridesmaids dresses, prom outfits, cream gal dresses & nurse dresses.Even we can accommodate the services of on the loose vastness customization and without together with gauge Snitch on affordable stunning compounding dresses now!lift avid shopping, put on one's sunday best clothes marvellously for the big wedding with the labourers of G-marry bridal.


http://www.g-marrybridal.com/

Anonymous said...

you must read [URL=http://jacket-dresses.net/]moncler sale[/URL] for more UvEbmeDX [URL=http://jacket-dresses.net/ ] http://jacket-dresses.net/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

If we think about the specification of the idea of love, installing regards to a close partnership along with a different, but being a experiencing that is definitely engendered in case you have miltchmonkey a more rewarding marriage with ourselves far too : and even as being a a feeling of greater unity with the fam or humankind - therefore it gets to be a lot more magnificent that most anybody is looking to get in your daily course can be really enjoy.

Anonymous said...

cheap ghd is not too hard""It has been very polite buy ghd.
How come so many right and wrong cheap nfl jerseys.
H1g7k comprar ugg online
W3o2s ghd hair straighteners
and went straight to the ghd iv front: "miss ling packed his things sitting in the corner cheap ghd.

Anonymous said...

vMmr michael kors outlet
iOlm styler ghd
hNpr cheap north face
7lShb ugg boots
6cQsy michael kors purse

Anonymous said...

you love this? FduQLSCT [URL=http://www.uggs-outlet2013.com/]uggs outlet online[/URL] online shopping uukKVDZq [URL=http://www.uggs-outlet2013.com/ ] http://www.uggs-outlet2013.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the best for you nAyTIEry [URL=http://www.burberry-outlet2013.com/ - burberry trench coat[/URL - for less MEcTKznd [URL=http://www.burberry-outlet2013.com/ - http://www.burberry-outlet2013.com/ [/URL -

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the best for you gHoZCHZp [URL=http://www.christianlouboutin--outlet.tumblr.com/]replica christian louboutin shoes[/URL] for more OVfSYQEU [URL=http://www.christianlouboutin--outlet.tumblr.com/ ] http://www.christianlouboutin--outlet.tumblr.com/ [/URL]

Anonymous said...

tory burch shoes sale eqqvmpqf Cheap Tory Burch shoes kslgmixz Tory Burch outlet online kcddhtsr discount Tory Burch shoes nwmkhcky Tory Burch outlet sale ivkhdcot Tory Burch Boots thhglttx Tory Burch Flats yydtsaep Tory Burch Flip Flops kguwacpm Tory Burch Handbags bainbaxu Tory Burch Heels oilwykle Tory Burch Reva Flats ktudjqrj Tory Burch Sandals haqorikr Tory Burch Wallets msjazbre Tory Burch Wedges foehklhz

Anonymous said...

ghd france lyuomrzc ghd lisseur dpectyzb GHD Pas Cher lsjwhqwc ghd rzrhavyi lisseur ghd pas cher dinggdkx Lisseur GHD pitgpovj

Anonymous said...

Longchamp wpwgyagr Longchamp Pas Cher fgffeurn Sac Longchamp mjqvhohy Longchamp Soldes rimfqdyl Longchamps zjujphej

Anonymous said...

cheap nike air max 90 twnkuynk cheap nike air max nuanogil nike air max 1 zsxxslyl nike air max 90 xmgomrdz nike air max 95 ljnkmqpk nike air max iteiyjyu nike free run kzpvkdvl nike store uk fpuyacet nike uk qxohoufe