Which Way to the Bedroom Bathroom?

or, I Thought I Was Over it, but I'm Not

Do you feel yourself desperate to be
In two different places at once?
Do you feel you'd rather not see
What comes out of your mouth or your bunce?
Do you wish you could take a shower,
For your innards have all turned to mud,
But to stand there you haven't the power?
You, Sir or Madame, have The Crud.